Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Blog 56 - Who Am I? Individual Memo


Who Am I? Celebrity Image
1 March, 2011
Subject: Individual Memo
Decision: Accept with Minor Revisions
Dear Author:
Thank you for the effort you put into writing this paper. I believe that the point you raised, which is that everybody seems to have developed both a private and a public persona, is timely, compelling and relevant enough to be published on Commonplace.
Your paper is timely, compelling because it addresses a recent growing problem. As we scrutinize the daily moves of celebrities and other important people, we force them to create different sides of themselves: the one we see, and the one they save for their loved ones. And it is relevant because it is mostly people in college who continuously scrutinize them. I am confident that your paper targets the right demographic. I specifically enjoyed your use of examples that college students could easily relate to.
There were a few issues with structure in the paper that I would like to point out:
The eighth sentence in the first paragraph could be changed to “ It is worse for celebrities, who are always in the spotlight”
In the first sentence on the second paragraph, you switched between the pronouns ‘we’ and ‘you’. I suggest that you stick to using one of these throughout.
I would like to thank you once again for your effort. With minor revisions, I am confident your paper will be accepted to Commonplace. Congratulations!
Sincerely,
Your Peer Editor.

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